Ask someone what a healthy lifestyle is and they will probably respond with the following: exercise for 30 minutes a day five days a week; eat at least five servings of fruit and vegetables a day and drink plenty of water. Women are told to have 2,000 calories a day; men 2,500. You should limit your sugar intake. You should cut down on meat. You should practice mindfulness.
Should, should, should.
The truth is, it’s a lot more complicated than that. We need to stop buying into the idea that there is a standard blueprint for healthy that suits every person’s body and physical condition.
My experience with an eating disorder is something I would never wish on anyone but I am thankful for the fact that it has helped me to understand what is healthy for me. Through writing a bit more about it, I hope to turn the traditional idea of healthy on its head.
Imagine a lady in her early twenties whose lifestyle can be laid down as follows: she eats up to 3,000 calories a day (but doesn’t count them); ice-cream and peanut butter are staple parts of her diet and her only exercise consists of gentle walking and a bit of yoga. And that’s if she feels like it.
I hear the health freaks screaming: ‘But where is the kale?’, ‘Think of all of that sugar!’, ‘What about getting her heart-rate up?’, ‘No woman needs that many calories!’.
Well my friends, the above is just some of what is often involved in eating disorder recovery. For somebody in this situation, high intensity exercise, a diet of kale and limiting calories are the complete opposite of what is healthy.
And before I go on, let me clarify that the reasoning for this goes FAR beyond weight gain. In fact, many people with eating disorders never see their weight go below ‘normal’ levels but may need to do the above. Even those who do and subsequently gain back to ‘normal’ levels may need to continue this process of eat, rest, eat, watch Netflix, eat, repeat for quite a while. Why? Because not eating properly for so long causes a lot of internal damage to the body and calories and rest are the only things that will truly help them to repair.
From irregular menstrual cycles to thinning hair to bad digestion to bones that channel your Granny’s, there is a lot of damage that can be done. But it can be undone. It can be done through eating, resting and focusing on YOU and what you need.
To be honest, this is really really hard. Arguably harder than running a marathon in Finland in the winter in your underwear. Not that I can judge as I have never done any of the above.
But trust me; it is difficult and I’m sure many of the ED warriors reading this agree. When it feels like the rest of the world has taken up running, is on a calorie restricted diet and is squatting heavy ’til the cows come home, it can be very overwhelming. Sometimes, it feels like it is being rubbed in your face and it is much easier to jump on the ‘health’ bandwagon than commit to going all in, particularly if society tells you that your weight is now normal and that you need to do X, Y and Z.
I can only speak in terms of eating disorders but I am sure there are many other people with varying conditions who struggle to accept what they need to do for their own health amidst all of society’s shoulds and shouldn’ts.
There are so many messages on health out there but in truth, there are only a handful of voices you need to listen to: your loved ones, a GOOD health professional if necessary and most of all, you. Your own body is the best source of health advice and if we would only all listen to what it is trying to tell us more often, then we would reap the rewards – physically, mentally and financially.
If you are in recovery from an eating disorder, I would strongly recommend that you work with a professional that you trust when trying to get healthy. It is very hard to go it alone as when trying to listen to your own body’s needs, it’s very likely that ED will start shouting conflicting ideas right back at you. It takes time to learn to listen to your body and that is ok. I would also say to do your best to not focus on what other people are doing right now. Comparison is the thief of joy, particularly in this situation.
For others, I would urge you to make the efforts to start listening to your body and its needs. If you are hungry, your body needs fuel. If you are tired, your body needs rest. If you are feeling energetic, move in a way that is enjoyable and not tortuous. If you are really concerned, see a doctor. You more than likely don’t need to run a Google search to tell you what is right. In fact, from personal experience, I can tell you that a Google search on health conditions will likely make you believe that a) you are pregnant or b) you are dying.
On a final note and to inject a bit of humour into the morning, I would like to give some of the following quotes that I have heard a swift, albeit virtual , kick in the arse. I wish I could do it for real. Some of these were off the top of my head and others came from a quick Google search. MAN there is a lot of nonsense on the internet.
‘No pain, no gain’: Probably the most ridiculous of the lot. Exercise does not need to, and should not, be painful. Think MOVEMENT, not forced exercise. If I wanted pain, I could easily jump into a nettle bush.
‘Earn your body.’ I read this somewhere recently. It was advice given by a well-known fitness professional. I mean, what? I was born with my body and I am pretty sure most of us were. I wasn’t exactly working 9 to 5 shifts in the womb in order to get it. If I was, I probably should sort out my taxes…
‘No excuses.’ A gym instructor said this to me before, despite knowing about my eating disorder background… Hmm, I would question your professionalism sir. Anyway, there are plenty of excuses: I am tired. I am injured. I am busy socialising with friends. I have to finish an assignment. I have to collect the kids. Or how about, I don’t actually like the gym or want to give you my money anymore so I am cancelling my direct debit . Take that!
‘Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.’: Peanut butter. Enough said. But to add, skinny does NOT feel good when your body is otherwise shutting down and you are avoiding social situations in order to stay away from food. Trust me.
‘The only bad workout is the one you didn’t do.’: Not true. If you are sick, any workout is a bad workout. If you are not enjoying your chosen type of exercise, any workout is a bad workout.
‘Excuses don’t burn calories.’: Do we need to burn calories all the time? What is the obsession? Calories are needed for every day FUNCTIONING.
‘Eat clean’: Sorry, I prefer to rub my food in the mud before I dine.
There are so many more but I think I’ll stop there. Have a great weekend and do something that makes YOU feel good.
Amy.
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everybody's grand 