Apologies for the long gap in posting. I was busy working on my bikini body #lol
Seriously though, with the two day Irish summer finally here, I felt the need to write a post about the ‘bikini body countdowns’ that are currently flooding our magazines, papers and conversations.
You guys may have also seen this picture on Facebook or elsewhere and I think it is great! Simple but true. If you have a bikini and a body, BAM you have a bikini body. You can replace bikini with trunks, swimsuit speedos, whatever! Just hit the beach and enjoy the sun.
Unfortunately, it might take more than a light-hearted meme to get you to change your mind. So I thought I would write a little post about what is wrong with a lot of the bikini body plans you see.
1: They are usually far too low in calories
I don’t like to do numbers anymore. I used to count calories and have since realised what an utter waste of time it is. Plus, it’s not sustainable. Do I want to be sitting in a restaurant tapping meals into an app in my phone when I’m 90 years old? No! At that stage, I probably won’t have too long left so I think it would be better spent talking to the person in front of me:P
Anyway, even though I don’t like to talk or focus too much on the numbers, it’s quite clear to me that most of these bikini body diet plans are far too low in calories to be healthy. The word ‘calorie’ has somehow found its way onto the negative phrase pile, which fools many people into thinking that calories are the devil and we must eat low calorie and try to burn off all that we eat. WRONG! Calories are the fantastic little units of energy that let us do our day to day things. Calories helped me to get out of bed this morning, to make my porridge, to sweep the floor and to feed the cat. They are helping me to write this blog post, to sit on this chair and to drink my coffee. We need sufficient calories to keep our internal systems running smoothly.
900 calorie diets or 1200 calories diets (just some of the numbers I’ve seen in these bikini diet plans) are unlikely to get you through even the most basic daily tasks. Add exercise into the equation and you are just gearing yourself up for an extremely unhealthy body that will probably crash on you before the ‘six week countdown’ is up. You wouldn’t expect your car to run without enough petrol. Don’t expect your body to run without enough calories.
2: They are too short term
The people in the photos beside these articles are very unlikely to have gotten that ‘fit and toned’ body thanks to a 4 or a 6 week plan. The likelihood is they are models who a: have been working out and eating nourishing foods for years and b: have been somewhat airbrushed. If you wish to get a bit fitter and gain or lose a bit of weight, fine, there’s no problem with that. But don’t listen to those that tell you that you can do so in a month and all will be fine and dandy.
3: They are quick to cut out food groups
Over the next six weeks, you are not allowed to eat gluten, wheat or dairy. Because we all know that foods containing these things are responsible for that bloated feeling, .your lack of a six pack and of course everything you dislike in the world such as global warming, war, clampers and long queues in supermarkets. Fruit is also a no go. It’s full of carbs and carbs will make you fat, duh. Let’s just forget about the fact that fruit is full of vital vitamins and minerals. Let’s forget about the fact that carbs are our main source of energy. Oh and don’t even mention the fact that weight gain or loss is actually all down to mathematics rather than whether or not you eat some pineapple every day. Shh… don’t question us…just don’t eat fruit! Of course, things like cake, biscuits, pizza, bread and every other food you enjoy are OUT. Have a pizza night with your other half every week? Scrap it. Is it your birthday in the next few weeks? No cake for you! As for alcohol, don’t even think about it. YOU MUST NOT LIVE FOR THE NEXT SIX WEEKS. And then you will emerge a glowing bikini clad goddess whose friends will probably have given up on you as you haven’t been out in weeks. Or because your low calorie diet made you into a painful, cranky nightmare. Tis grand though like. You might have lost a pound or two. Who needs friends.
(I hope you all understand that this section was riddled with sarcasm!)
4: They are full of guilt-inducing phrases
Most of these plans are written in a way that make you feel bad for not following them. Certain foods and dishes are labelled as ‘saintly’, ‘guilt-free’, ‘whole’, ‘healthy’, ‘clean’ and ‘good’. If I eat these I am a clean-living, healthy, radiant woman/ man who has plenty of will-power and discipline and strength. Clearly, I am going somewhere in life because I chose some kale juice over a brownie. Other foods are ‘dirty’, ‘cheat’, ‘forbidden’, ‘weakness’ and ‘zero calorie’ foods. If I eat these I have slipped up or failed the diet. I will feel sluggish and disheartened because the book told me I should. I am weak and unmotivated and my life is spiralling downwards into a bottomless pit of donuts.
Ha! Sorry I get a bit carried away with this sarcasm.
5: They do not take the Irish weather into account
From an Irish person’s point of view, these bikini body plans are just not practical. It is sunny today but according to the plans, we have a another few weeks to go until we are bikini body ready. But in Ireland, it could be bloody well snowing in six weeks! No matter what country you are in, you shouldn’t wait for your body to be a certain way before hitting the beach. Seize the sunny days and enjoy them because tomorrow, you may well be rooting out your winter coat and mittens again.
6: They can lead to restrictive and unhealthy eating
Only a certain percentage of people will fall into this category but any number of people is too many. Some people will get a bit caught up in the rules of these diet plans and find it difficult to relax their feelings around food after. Some may even spiral out of control. I’m not saying these diet plans cause eating disorders or anything but they can definitely encourage unhealthy views on food and ourselves that could lead to one. I started following these kind of plans at the age of 14, just trying to ‘eat a bit healthier’ and ‘lose some weight’. And look where it got me eh?
7: They never ever EVER talk about what happens after
So you may have gotten through the few weeks of the bikini body diet plan. Great! Eh… now what? You probably don’t feel like the glowing goddess they said you would feel like. You probably aren’t any happier like they said you would be. You probably will be ready to hook yourself up to a drip filled with cola and hot chocolate just because it has been so long since you have allowed yourself to have these foods.
And then hopefully you will realise that having a certain body shape is not the key to happiness or a fulfilled life, no matter what these plans tell you. Hopefully you will go out and enjoy that patch of sunshine and stop worrying about how your body looks and focus on what it does. Hopefully, you won’t decide to do a few more weeks of this restrictive eating because weeks lead into months lead into years….
A wise woman once told me that it is much easier and more beneficial to change your feelings about your body than to change your body. It’s true. As ‘bikini body’ season approaches, work on eating what tastes nice and makes you feel good, moving in a way that feels right and doing things that make you feel confident. And then put on that bikini or those swimming trunks or even those speedos and head for the sea! Now that is a goal to strive for.
Because jumping into the freezing Irish sea takes a lot more ‘strength’ and ‘willpower’ than eating chicken and broccoli for 6 weeks ever will 😉
Amy.
x
everybody's grand 